Well, it's finally February, and I'm fully adjusted to my weekly schedule. One thing I will never adjust to, though, are the mysteries of my roommates. I won't go into detail here, but it's been anything but an easy living situation this year. In all honesty, I can't wait for May 6th., the approximate date I can move home again. 

Other than that little slice of crazy, stuff with Steve and I has gotten better, with the exception of Friday and part of Saturday. I don't know what was going on in my head, but I kept picking fights with him over little things. Have any of you done that before with your significant other? Those little fights escalated into bigger ones, and so by Friday night we had to say some tough stuff to each other. Saturdays discussion was a lot about the R word (reenlistment), which we both have talked about for a while. 
 
 
Dear Mr. Sparks, 

It has come to my attention that your novel, Dear John, has recently opened in theaters as a movie. Based on a fictional account from the point of view of a soldier, Dear John shows how one man faces the challenges of a new relationship while continuing to serve his country.

While I have not seen your new movie, based on what I know from reading the book and seeing the movie's trailer, I feel it my duty as a real-life military girlfriend to talk to you about how you portray the relationship between Savannah, a college girl, who falls for John, the title character. 

Mr. Sparks, your novel and subsequent film are very over-romanticized about the lifestyle myself and other military girlfriends and wives live every day. It's a shame this inaccurate portrayal leads Savannah's character to lack development and seem weak, depending on John's affection and attention to keep her happy rather than developing into a strong, independent young woman who conquers the difficulties of distance through self-discovery. While I haven't faced a deployment with my boyfriend yet, we have been long distance the majority of our relationship. My friends and I can tell you first hand, It is anything but happy times all of the time to live apart. 

The dramatic music and lovey-dovey sentiments exchanged from your movie's trailer, which focuses mostly on John's leave time rather than when he's away, only slightly cover what it can be like to have that time together. Leave is fun, but it's only a break from the reality of this military lifestyle. Leave is also very short - 2 weeks to a month typically - so much of the time together is nothing like the time apart. The reality is, many military wives and girlfriends experience frustration, communication problems and feelings of loneliness when their man is away. This life is anything but easy and many relationships falter or can fall apart because it is so difficult. 
 
 
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It is my pleasure to receive this Bloggy Award from Wife of a Sailor, one of my many mil friends on Twitter! It's the first award I've ever gotten on my site and I'm very excited about it!

Before I express who I've nominated, I'd like to say a few updates, since it's been a while since I've been here!

1) I began my new job at a law firm last Monday, and it's been...well, not easy. It's my first new job in 2 years and is so far the only job I really have cared about because how I do here can determine basically the rest of my life (if and where I attend law school, if I'll be working there later, etc.), so it's been challenging but I've enjoyed it.


2) Some of the craziness from my last post has died down, and I think things will be good for us this year. We have a lot of growing up to do and big decisions have yet to be made about  A LOT in our lives, but I think this year will be a good one. :) 


3) I got a new fishy! His name is Pauly and he's a betta. He's pretty neat. You might think it's kind of lame for me to brag about owning a fish, but most of the pets I had as a kid I didn't take care of; my mother was the pet caregiver. So having him is going to be fun! I have his fish bowl set up just perfectly and will transport him back into it tonight (his water needs to regulate to room temp. again, since I came back to my apartment at school.


And now, for my award:

 
Whirlwind! 01/24/2010
 
For those of you that are friends with me on Twitter, you've read a little bit about the headache that has been my life as of late. Between going through an educational crisis last week, to some craziness in my relationship over the weekend, I'm really hoping this week is calm in comparison (though that's doubtful, as I start a new job tomorrow). 

In a nutshell, a lot of the dramarama happened because of talking about future plans with the boyfriend. We were really dead-set on tying the knot earlier this month, but one big roadblock has been that I'm in school for a while and was considering law school. However, I started to ask myself, "Do I really want to do this?" Looking up statistics and finding a few blogs from former law students, I found that the option is a risky gamble; you invest six figures in loans, only to **maybe** have a job when you graduate, unless you have stellar grades or have connections.

So I started looking at every program under the sun outside of law that 1) I would enjoy 2) would be semi-lucrative and 3) would provide me a way to do school while Steve and I get married, settle at his base, etc. 

Some of the options I came up with were an MBA after working two years; a graduate studies program at the university near his base; online programs; etc. I pretty much scoured the Internet for any possible way to do law school online (clearly, there's no way), or to find Army bases near law schools so there could be some chance (a slim one, but still a chance) that we could be married while I'm law school.

Well, needless to say I've regained a little faith in my abilities to do law, so I'm happy THAT panic is over! Well, for now.

 
 
This past year, I have encountered multiple women who have experienced and ended an abusive relationship. These have ran the gamut of women who, married for years, finally commit to separation from that person because he was emotionally abusive, to women who, after subtle signs of abuse came to light, discovered their boyfriend was not who they thought he was and were forced to leave.

Statistics show that about 1.5 million women are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS). This is just in the U.S. alone. And while domestic violence is usually understood as a woman suffering physical abuse, there are other types of abuse as well. 

 
 
So, here we are, once again. I couldn't sleep and began thinking about what the future holds in the following months and year. It's quite possible I will be engaged for real (not just on Facebook...long story) in the next 6 months to a year, and married at the end of next year or perhaps sometime the following year (which will be here sooner than you think!) and I'm not even really sure what to do with my life. 

I know I have no rhyme or reason to plan it all this second, but it's who I am. I'm a planner, and what I do now reflects on my future. Not having a set A to B to C, etc. plan drives me crazy. So it's stressful thinking about marriage so soon after undergrad and also considering the possibility of law school while married to a soldier. Throw into the mix of Steve's reconsideration about reenlisting, and it's the perfect recipe for insomnia. 

With Steve stationed at Bliss, I scoped out law schools close by, for if we were to marry I would still like to pursue that degree. Turns out the closest law school is in Lubbock, an 8 hour drive away, and I assure you the program is most likely not Tier I. There are graduate programs around, but they wouldn't be law. 

I know I'm worrying for nothing, and I should focus on what's in front of me: a new job I start in less than 72 hours, along with a new school year, not to mention the fact that I can actually talk and text to my boyfriend instead of waiting for Skype to kick in while he's on another continent. 

I have a lot to be thankful for and much to do before graduation day (it's about 11 months and 2 days away!), but goodness, I should have a plan in place by now, right? Sigh. We shall see what happens soon!
 
 
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It was such a blessing ending 2009 with Steve's leave! I couldn't ask for anything better! We had so much fun together and I know being apart again is hard on him, but it's not forever. 

It has been a very emotionally charged month, what with ending the semester right after he came home and making some very big life decisions for the new year. I got a job with a law firm as a Legal Assistant, and consequently am limiting school activities for the spring semester, which is just as well. Also, in the spring I will be doing an internship with The Mission Continues, a nationwide, non-profit group which focuses on empowering wounded veterans and to help them continue to serve their country after their military service.

Other changes are also afoot in my life. After a lot of reflecting, Steve is fairly certain he won't be reenlisting after his contract is up. Like with everything in the Army, though, that can change, but whatever decision he makes I support him. I felt like it was partly my fault for him not wanting to because I was very upset one day of his leave for a multitude of reasons (the struggles of the past year apart, his leave ending, etc.), but he reassured me it's not because of that and that he has a plan that once he is done with the Army to start school and go to police academy. 

Also, speaking of Army, rumor at his base is his unit deploys in August or November '10. I wasn't surprised they went from not deploying for a while to doing so shortly, but it still saddens me, as I'm graduating December '10. But such is life, right?

Anyway, I can't believe the first decade of the 2000's is nearly over! It's been quite a wild ride and so many changes took place, but I'm optimistic for the future. I can't imagine what life will be like in this next decade, but I'm hopeful it will be wonderful!

 
At Last 12/07/2009
 
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It's so good to have him home for leave!
 
Mañana 11/29/2009
 
Tomorrow. Tomorrow! TOMORROW!

Clearly, I'm very excited that tomorrow will be the day I pick up my boyfriend from the airport. This year has brought about many trials and tribulations, and I've learned more than I thought I would about myself, about human nature, and about being a better person. At the core of this is selflessness, which is difficult to achieve. However, being in a military relationship, you automatically have to learn selflessness. 

I had an earlier instance in which I felt like being selfish, but I learned quickly that I had to 1) forgive the people who had wronged me and 2) remind myself that Steve's homecoming is not about me.

And then...today's drama unfolded. 

Without going into details, it mostly involved me opening my big mouth about plans and other people deciding that Steve would have to choose them or another group of people to see on leave. Honestly, the reaction was surprising and embarrassing, even though what took place only happened between me and someone on the phone. The selfishness was enough to make me want to chastise this person, despite the fact that I couldn't do this without harming the relationship. 

It would be really cool if someday, families and people in close relationships with service members were issued a copy of a book that told them what to do, how to react to situations and what they can learn from distance apart. Unfortunately, that book doesn't exist (maybe I need to write it?), but it seemed to me that people I thought by now would have learned the lessons I have would know better than to react this way. 

Anyway, I'm QUITE excited for tomorrow. I don't think he will see this before then, so here's what I'm wearing: 
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Obviously, the hair isn't done yet, nor the makeup (though I abhore it!), but essentially this is my Homecoming outfit!

Ok, that is all! I will possibly update during his leave, but don't count on anything but pictures or only a few words if I do! :)
 
Thankful 11/25/2009
 
This year has brought me so many things with which I am thankful. It's unbelievable that a year ago this week I began this mil girlfriend relationship journey, and in less than a week my soldier is home for R&R! It might not be for as long as I want or totally line up with my schedule, but I'm so thankful to see him again soon. 

Thanksgiving is the one time of year a lot of people throw the word "thankful" around. We remember to be thankful for our friends and family, our jobs and meeting goals, for our health and a hopeful future. 

This year, though, I have learned to be thankful all of the time. Thankful that I've been able to learn and grow through the challenges and struggles school and a long distance relationship have taught me. Thankful for strengthened relationships and identifying harmful ones. Thankful my family situation has improved as it has and I can finally feel like our family is a family. Thankful that I was able to travel for a month to Ecuador this summer and meet new friends and experience life in a new place, if only temporarily. 

So this Thanksgiving, while you eat your turkey (or tofurkey, for my vegetarian friends!), reflect on the last year of your life and find meaningful things, people and struggles for which your thanks should be received.