Homecoming 10/16/2009
 
Less than a month and a half and he is home for R&R.

I have no idea how to react anymore. There's no way to contain the excitement, the nervousness…the fear.
Fear shouldn't be a reaction, right? I shouldn't be scared to see my boyfriend after he's been gone for a year. But I am a teensy bit scared. Scared something will go wrong during the short amount of time we have. Afraid a fight between us will make his R&R only memorable as a time he wished he was still away from home.  

I know it's paranoia. But it's been so long. We dated a week before he had to go, and now, almost a year since we began on this journey, he'll be back for double the time he was home before. Of course I'm scared! 

I want to tell myself this is normal. It's our first homecoming and I want everything to be perfect. Being patient is not my forte, but it's all I can do right now. But I haven't felt this nervous in a very long time. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever felt so nervous! I visualize seeing him again and feeling those same feelings I felt when he left - uncertainty, fear, that tight feeling in my throat - but I know I'll also feel new feelings - joy, excitement, the thrill of being together once again.  

I have 44 days to prepare for his return. I hope the emotions don't overwhelm me before the big day!
 


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