If someone were to tell you they could deal with a relationship with someone halfway across the world, you might think them crazy, right? "Impossible!" you might think. "I can barely handle a relationship in the same city, much less that far apart!"

I didn't realize how much time matters in a relationship, especially a long distance one, until about a month into Steve being in South Korea. We had to specify in emails, chats and phone calls if we were speaking in terms of "my" time in the U.S. or "his" time in Korea, which was something totally new for the both of us. 

It was difficult at first to realize how far apart 14 hours can be, but we found a communication system that worked for us. I would get out of class around 2 p.m. "my" time and he would get up at 2:30 p.m. "my" time, which was 5:30 a.m. the next day "his" time. We would try to talk again after he had PT if I didn't have a meeting for a school organization, and later at night, around 9 "my" time, would talk when he was on lunch at noon "his" time.

Then, a few months into our schedule, Daylight Savings Time began in the U.S., but not in South Korea, and changed everything. 

I had to completely rethink when  we would be able to talk! 2 p.m. became 3 p.m., lunch on "his" time was 10 p.m. "my" time, and so for a few weeks I would find myself counting on my fingers to determine whether or not I would be spot on for talk time or completely off. Talk about frustrating!

But just like everything in this military relationship, we somehow have found ways to "make it work." My weekends are usually less eventful than the average college student; I stay in more to talk to my boyfriend on G-Chat or Skype and party less than others, hearing people in other buildings being rowdy or playing beer pong or other drinking games. 

And of course, who couldn't forget the proverbial chorus of "Chug! Chug!" at these particular collegiate social events? While these parties can be fun and are supposed to be the type of "experiences" all college students have, I've attended these events less than the usual person since starting this relationship. And I'm okay with that. It might seem unusual, but I have more fun spending time with my boyfriend and being silly online, or hearing him play guitar for me, or discussing some random topic while he's enjoying a weekend off than doing the usual college party scene. 

Time is important in a relationship, especially the time you have together, even if "together" means seeing a pixelated image on a computer screen of your significant other. So far, we have sent thousands of emails, chatted an equally staggering amount of hours online and spent many weekends together apart. I always value that time and hope others in a similar relationship situation realize finding time together, knowing one another's schedules and finding creative ways to pass the time when you do get a chance to speak, are the most important things you can do to build a strong relationship.
 


Comments

Ruth

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 4:25:40 pm

love your new site!

 

Samantha

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:26:09 pm

Totally feel you! I'm so over time differences! LOL.

 

Megan

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 7:32:06 pm

Ruth - I'm glad you like it!

Sam - I KNOW, the time differences are so overrated! It'll be nice when Steve and I are in the same time zone again (even though most of the time he will be 1,000ish miles away)!

 



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